I thought this would have been shut down years ago..
Alone in a world full of people...
People say that we create our world around us, they say that happiness is our own doing. For the most part I believe that. but than there are nights like tonight. I sat at work tonight and I did my job, and well I might add, yet felt no sense of fulfillment. I drove home and enter there in and yet felt as if I were an alien in a my own home. I set my head on my pillow and felt not rest.
(Yes, Chas is having a melancholy week.)
I surround myself by people I know I can not touch, people I know will not touch me and internally scream in pain because feeling the isolation.
To be touched, to be held, to not feel alone. These have now past the the point of being reality and have enter the realm of fantasy, for I know that my isolation, now lasting almost 2 decades, seems to be without end. My worse fear has been realized.
I dare not speak of my pain or be ridiculed by those whom I love the most. I dare not speak or be silenced by those trying to be friends. SO in isolation I remain. Screaming, silently pleading. Dear God let love and compassion once again find their way to me. Yet as many of my prayers I fear this too will be met with silence.
Tonight I went and watched Bobby. A movie less about Robert Kennedy and more about the others present when he was shot. I was moved to a point of almost audible sobs at the end of the movie... as was the only 1 other person in the movie. An ederly African American lady who sat a row behind me softly sobbing, sobbing into her hanky..
I wonder if she thought as I had when I was leaving.... "Why were there only two people in the theater?"..
When I came home I looked for a couple of Bobby's speeches online because in the movie, his speeches seem to ring so true for our times today.. I was only 3 when Robert Kennedy was taken by an assasins bullet, but I do remember the chaos of the next day. I think we need another Kennedy... or at least to remember what the two we had stood for...
"When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues ((or his sexual orientation)), when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family ((or family values)), then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered."
11/20/1925 - 6/6/1968
Pay is 14.00+ Depending on expierence, certs, and pre-test results...
Use: Charles McAvoy as a reffered, it does seem to help to be referred by an employee.
Email your resume to: stephen(dot)holley(at)etelecare(dot)com
Need to hire 500 tech by 1/1/2007
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That according to Title 25-101 Section C of Arizona state law already states that "Marriage between persons of the same sex is void and prohibited" Arizona judges have upheld this law. So why would we vote for 107? Think about it.... what are you actually voting for? Do some research than vote against 107 in November...
Also I changed my myspace profile look till after the November Elections it's not bad for a 10 minute graphic :) feel free to tell me what you think. Though it's not that great.
Okay, so I have been pondering this lately and after reading through my newest issue of Genre I thought it was time for me to ask.
What is up with the gay community(and sexy straight guys) wearing the baggy saggy pants.. this is the most unattractive trend I have seen. Why are we taking fashion tips from prisoners (I must admit I love Prison Break) and gang bangers.
I look at the swimwear ads and we are still sporting tightly fitting swim suits maybe not the speedos of old, but they are tight fitting and slim cut. And all the ads for underwear in the mags are boxer-briefs, briefs, jocks, and other tight & form fitting underwear not the saggy boxers many of you seem to like to wear.
So.. buy a belt, get a pair of pants that fit your ass and leave the saggy baggy look to the gang banger and prison bitches.
I would be interested in learning what books have has an impact on your life, so post your choices or not (this is not meant to be a chain).
Here are four books that have significantly had an impact on my life.
The first goes without saying…
The Bible – Aside from all the religious content, even the non-believer can gain insight to whichever spirituality they follow from its pages. The Old Testament is a great historical picture of ancient people, if you are sure to remember that many of these stories were passed verbally many many years before being written. The New Testament gives us a look at the life of Christ, if you even just see him as a great teacher they have value, and the historical content of early Christians is a great read. I have always enjoyed many of the parables and stories and for me this book has great spiritual meaning to my life.
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior - What I personally got out of the book is the importance of living in the NOW, not the past or future. What am I doing with myself right now? If you ask yourself this question often, you will find yourself being more productive.
Way of the Pilgrim - For anyone wanting to learn the meaning (and the actual possibility) of the scriptural injunction to "pray without ceasing", this simple journey along with this simple pilgrim will help to get you there . . .
The Last Herald Mage (trilogy) – This was the very first book(s) that I read that not only had a gay (shaych) character, but he was actually the protagonist. The story as a whole is superb, the world M Lackey creates is vivid and fully thought out.. To be honest I can’t really tell you in what ways this series changed me, but every time I am asked about books that meant a lot to me, this one is one of the top 3.
There is hope for Gabe yet.. he is having another dream about Spiderman... hmmmm... wonder if I can date a comic strip character.
Warcraft' will no longer silence players about sexual orientation
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) | Feb 17, 10:01 AM
A gay-rights uproar in the popular "World of Warcraft" online game has spurred the game's maker to review its treatment of gay players.
The game, which draws more than five million players worldwide, was hit by controversy last month after a player was threatened with expulsion from the virtual Warcraft world when she sought to recruit others into her gay-friendly team.
Blizzard Entertainment, the game's maker, apologized last week to the player, Sara Andrews of Nashville, Tenn.
It said the warning was a mistake and that it will make some changes to prevent a repeat, Andrews and her attorney from the Lambda Legal civil rights organization said Wednesday.
Blizzard representatives did not return phone calls for comment.
Gay-friendly teams already exist in Warcraft, but the issue here stemmed from Blizzard's enforcement of its policy banning the harassment of players based on sexual, religious or political affiliation.
According to correspondence between Andrews and game officials, the company said it does not allow such recruitment efforts on its general chat channels to help prevent harassment.
Andrews, 25, said she protested because she had done similar recruitment in the past without reprimand and noted that many others associated with a political or other affiliation have done the same.
While the harassment policy is sound, trying to silence players from stating their sexual affiliation is not, contended Brian Chase, a Lambda Legal staff attorney.
"If you want to stop harassment, you should punish the harasser, not the victim," Andrews said.
As part of its review, Blizzard this week instituted a new chat channel specifically for recruitment and told Andrews it also plans to provide sensitivity training to the employees who monitor the online play and communications forums.